Saturday, July 18, 2009

Making up for Lost Time

Well I certainly drank this weekend. And the weekend isn't even over - it's fucking Saturday morning. Last night, I started the evening getting sushi with my girlfriend. At the restaurant we saw some people drinking beer from a beer tower in these adorably small glasses, which put the idea of drinking in my head. So I called up a few friends and invited them for a tame evening of a few beers and some Trivial Pursuit. I then popped open a beer: Paulaner Salvator (7.8% ABV; doppelbock). This has actually been my least favorite of the Paulaners. I didn't taste all of the flavors purported to be in the beer.

It wasn't bad though - I just couldn't really taste a bunch of interesting flavors. Next, I downed another of those Honey Browns we bought last weekend (gotta drink 'em sometime).

We proceeded on to Sherlock's, where I tried to order a Shock Top Wheat Beer, but, as always, the beer I want to order is the one of which they are out. Supply and demand, le sigh...

I ordered their "seasonal Paulaner", which I have determined to be the same kind I got at Fox and Hound the other weekend.

After these I was finally tipsy enough to tell one guy he gave off a bisexual air. Of course he adamantly denied any leanings at first, but soon he admitted he had made out with a dude before. Then he out and out lied about it to his friend Joe McHomophobe across the table who hadn't quite heard him. "Dude, you'd better not be gay, we've been streaking together before!"
"No, of course I'm not!"
"Well, did you just say you've kissed a guy?"
"No, no, never! Ugh, gross, man, of course not!" Hah.

Moving along, I ordered a Smithwicks on tap to see if it did indeed taste better on tap than bottled. I think it did, I think it did.

By the next beer, the waitress was flirting with me a little bit I think. She rubbed her finger up and down my shoulder four times (four times!) and leaned in to ask if she could get me another beer. Well I clearly couldn't stop drinking at that point, so I ordered the only other beer I hadn't ever had before, a Boddington's Pub Ale (4.7% ABV; English Pale Ale). The kind that looks like this in a can. I was probably a bit too drunk at this point to really say how this beer was. I certainly don't remember it being remarkable either way. Be right back, gotta go get food.

Ugh, I just had some delightfully horrible food that is going to prompt me to finally start the blog I care most about: my restaurant blog.

Anyway, after the Boddington's, I asked the waitress if she could think of a beer I could try that I haven't had yet, and she suggested the seasonal Samuel Adams they have right now. At this point, I probably wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between a wheat beer and an imperial stout, so I have no idea how that one was. Oh! and right before I ordered it, one of the dudes from our table had bought the table shots of "vegas bombs" (obviously from the name and taste some red bull concoction, but I have no idea what the other indgredient(s) might have been). He actually meandered his way through the throngs of people through 3 or 4 rooms ana a few staircases and doors to find us outside on the patio to deliver these shots to us (Caleb and me, that is). I don't know why he would go to the trouble - maybe he thought my questioning of his sexuality was somehow flirting.

I wanted to play darts and went over to the dart boards but didn't know from where to get the darts. Some guy took the opportunity to get the darts from the bartender and then offer to play with me, which I did for about 10 seconds before making friends with the 4 guys playing darts next to us and totally abandoning that dude. One guy lectured Caleb and me about the dangers of smoking (he was a total health nut) but relented when I explained I smoke about 3 cigarettes a week all on the one night a week I drink (on average). I don't really know how it came up, but one of the guys ended up confessing that, while he is at least 80% "totally straight", he has some bicuriosity and was interested in Caleb. I told him I could set up a totally safe, easy, situation for him to test the waters with Caleb (and I hope to pursue this because the idea just tickles me). Oh and this guys also told me that he's a chiropractor and wants to try to fix my knees. He said he'd take me out for sushi and fix my knees and we could set the thing up with Caleb then...maybe he's looking for a threesome, now that I think about it...

So, probably thanks to that damned shot of liquor, I ended up feeling queasy on the ride home, to the point that my friends stopped at a gas station for me to try (in vain) to throw up in the sink. When I got home (at about 2:45 am), I didn't want to bother my girlfriend, so (and I don't really remember this part, but I've pieced it together from glimpses of memory as well as my girlfriend's account) I got the good barfing bowl from the cupboard and then inexplicably cleared off the long black table in the living room and lied down on it with the bowl next to me on the ground. There's a perfectly good couch right next to that table, so I'm not sure what my reasoning was. My girlfriend found me akimbo on the coffee table at 6 am, then asked if I might not be more comfortable in bed. I said yes, then got up and lied down on the couch. I woke up in my bed this morning, though. Look at the note my girlfriend left me so I wouldn't wake up with bad, paranoid hungover thoughts that she might be pissed at me for getting piss ass drunk:

Isn't she sweet? :)


  1. Here's the conversation Travis and I had while I was writing the first half (before I left for food):

    lostalchemist is available (11:34:50 AM)
    lostalchemist (11:34:45 AM): have you eatn lunch?
    ariellesaimsn (11:42:12 AM): nope, but it sounds like a good idea
    ariellesaimsn (11:43:55 AM): whatcha doin?
    lostalchemist (11:44:42 AM): watching youtube vids
    lostalchemist (11:44:57 AM): trying without trying to be as mindless as possible
    lostalchemist (11:45:05 AM): foooooood
    lostalchemist (11:45:22 AM): ive hit post drinking need for consumption critical mass
    ariellesaimsn (11:45:40 AM): me 2
    ariellesaimsn (11:46:09 AM): im watching a noam chomsky documentary, so half of me is hppy, but then theres my tummy
    ariellesaimsn (11:46:19 AM): and the fact that i seem to have lost my glasses last night
    ariellesaimsn (11:46:20 AM): fuck
    ariellesaimsn (11:47:24 AM): oh thanks god, they were just in erics car
    lostalchemist (11:48:39 AM): lol
    lostalchemist (11:49:00 AM): well lemme know if you wanna eat somwhere
    ariellesaimsn (11:49:16 AM): sure, where u wanna eat?
    ariellesaimsn (11:49:35 AM): i just have to wait for a bit cuz eric has kindly offered to drive me my glasses right now, so sweet
    lostalchemist (11:50:45 AM): kk
    lostalchemist (11:50:56 AM): i dont rly care where i go
    lostalchemist (11:51:18 AM): but i dont want something too lite, i need substantive food
    ariellesaimsn (11:52:11 AM): yeah of course
    lostalchemist (11:55:52 AM):
    ariellesaimsn (11:58:49 AM): haha so cute
    ariellesaimsn (12:09:13 PM): glasses acquired. food?
    lostalchemist (12:09:35 PM): food
    lostalchemist (12:14:29 PM): where do you want to go?!
    ariellesaimsn (12:14:36 PM): i dont know!
    lostalchemist (12:14:41 PM): or do you want me to just pick you up and we decidce on a whim?
    ariellesaimsn (12:14:44 PM): i cant make such decisions in the shape im in!
    ariellesaimsn (12:14:47 PM): yes!
    ariellesaimsn (12:14:52 PM): ish
    ariellesaimsn (12:14:56 PM): decide now!
    lostalchemist (12:15:30 PM): wait what?
    ariellesaimsn (12:16:05 PM): deciding on a whim in the car doesnt ever work out
    ariellesaimsn (12:16:11 PM): you have to decide now!
    lostalchemist (12:16:33 PM): god damnut
    ariellesaimsn (12:16:48 PM): hehe "damnut"
    lostalchemist (12:17:01 PM): 777777777777777u77777777777y7y7y7yh7y8777
    lostalchemist (12:17:17 PM): sry, i was cleaning what looked like bbq sauce off the 7 key
    ariellesaimsn (12:17:29 PM): haha
    lostalchemist (12:17:54 PM): we can do ST again
    ariellesaimsn (12:18:21 PM): yeah, but no coupon makes me sad
    lostalchemist (12:18:40 PM): well, what makes you not sad?
    ariellesaimsn (12:19:00 PM): well
    ariellesaimsn (12:19:04 PM): i do have one horrible idea
    ariellesaimsn (12:19:17 PM): i found a flier in k's car the other day
    ariellesaimsn (12:19:22 PM): wings pizza buffet
    ariellesaimsn (12:19:52 PM): get a load of this:
    ariellesaimsn (12:20:18 PM): theres not way the qualiy is not abysmal . it's simple economics, but jesus it sounds like a great idea, doesn';t it?
    ariellesaimsn (12:20:21 PM): no way*
    lostalchemist (12:20:54 PM): im sold on hush puppies and DP products
    ariellesaimsn (12:21:00 PM): haha
    ariellesaimsn (12:21:32 PM): im sold on 7 flavoirs of wings as well as the fact that even f the food is as horrible as it surely is, there's ranch to cover everything in
    lostalchemist (12:21:45 PM): youre sick
    ariellesaimsn (12:21:47 PM): true
    lostalchemist (12:22:59 PM): kk coming over
    ariellesaimsn (12:23:28 PM): yay!!!

  2. Boddingtons was taken over by Inbev and closed its strangeways brewery a while back. In England, there is a cask version brewed by Hydes still in pubs, and a nitrokeg version brewed by Inbev in Wales more often sold cheap in supermarkets. The former about 4%, the latter 3.8%. Both are unremarkable cooking bitter. I suspect the 4.7% pub ale is made for the American and general export market to match the abv's expected. Most standard English ales are around 4%. Interesting you have the same opinion of it as most Brits!

    Out of interest, did you open up the can and find a "widget"?

    I'd love to know whether Inbev are pulling that trick in the export market.

  3. Well, I was served the Boddington's in a glass, so I didn't get to op open the can. What's this widget business though? It sounds cute. Well, I guess that's mostly the word "widget".

  4. It's a bit of plastic in the can that forces nitrogen through the beer and results in a creamy froth that takes time to settle. Guinness were first to use it over here for "draught beer in a can", and it quickly caught on.

    According to that, there was a widget in your can. It's global, whadya know.